Robin Griffiths
October 2024
Perfection -the condition, state, or quality of being free or as free as possible from all flaws or defects.
Imperfection -a detail that makes something (or someone) less than perfect.
For most of my life, I have been on the road to perfection. This obsession has many avenues. I spent many years working on myself and a lifetime of striving for perfection in my home, lifestyle, career, education, and even in my relationships. It’s unbelievable how much time I have spent perfecting meals, cleaning, finding just the right linens, setting the perfect table, my appearance, writing just the right phrase, and so on. It has been an exhausting addiction. Sad to say, I have beaten myself up for the smallest mistake and have had a hard time relaxing.
Many significant accomplishments and great satisfaction have come over the years from my passion to be perfect, but it has also taken a toll. My standards have been impossibly high for myself and unfortunately too high for others. I don’t know where all this preoccupation with perfection began. Perhaps society or over time it grew into a habit. Maybe it began in childhood when many of us learn we need to be a certain way - look a particular way, act a certain way to meet the expectations of others even at our own expense. Or perhaps it came from the peer pressure of the social environment. The notion of ‘perfect’ is unrealistic.
So, how do we embrace imperfections that will allow us to lead an authentic and content life?
Let’s begin with the word Wabi-Sabi. Taken from the Japanese words wabi, which translates to less is more, and sabi, which means attentive melancholy, Wabi-Sabi refers to an awareness of the transient nature of earthly things and a corresponding pleasure in the things that bear the mark of this impermanence. Wabi-Sabi is a visual that finds beauty in things imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete.
Remember that perfectionism is an unattainable goal. No matter how much time and energy you put into it. Just let go.
Be realistic about what is good enough. You may shock and awe people with a perfect home, latest fashion, manicured lawn, and incredible food, but wouldn’t it be enough if the time with others was simply enough? On the flip side, wouldn’t it be freeing to just accept people with all their flaws and enjoy them for who they are? Once again, let go, enjoy the time and save yourself a lot of stress.
Be in the moment. Trying to be perfect absorbs an incredible amount of time. You are not present for yourself or others. As you are doing your best, be aware of your surroundings and if things don’t go as planned, see the funny side and be forgiving.
Become spontaneous. You lose flexibility and creativity when you are working towards perfection. Although you may not be flawless, you may enjoy freedom in the unplanned and uncontrolled.
Yoga philosophy includes the practice of recognizing our attachments, ego and judgements and how we define ourselves with these thoughts and feelings. Begin with self-acceptance, and through yoga find transformation.
I have changed over the past few years and although the standards I set for myself are still high, I don’t get as upset over the imperfections and lack of control as I once did. I strive to be more accepting of others and less judgmental. I also have stopped judging myself so harshly and began to accept the imperfections in my character and looks. It is a journey, and I have a long way to go. My focus now is more on how I feel and finding peace with myself. Perhaps age has played a part in this change, and possibly yoga and meditation have given me a better perspective.
Robin Griffiths
“Imperfection and perfection go so hand in hand, and our dark and our light are so intertwined, that by trying to push the darkness or the so-called negative aspects of our life to the side... we are preventing ourselves from the fullness of life.” - Jeff Bridges
Robin Anne Griffiths–Founder of ReChargeMe Zone * Behavioral Change Specialist * Yoga Instructor * Meditation Facilitator * Personal Trainer * Author * Speaker * Helping people on a journey for change to live a fuller and healthier life. Find out more at www.rechargemezone.com
