From the Publisher
After seeing photos of Carnival Cruises I knew I’d never set foot on a cruise ship, but a friend recommended I give Celebrity a chance, so last month I did. I’ve been broke, I’ve been homeless, and I’ve been kidnapped by smugglers as a young teen, and by the second day I labeled this cruise as the worst experience of my life. I’m a good swimmer, how far are we from Miami?
Our boarding passes said to park at Dock-E, then found out the ship was relocated to Dock-A, which turned out to be almost a mile hike with our luggage. Low on time and rushing, I stepped on a curb wrong and tore a tendon in my foot on the way, but we eventually boarded, exhausted and a bit annoyed, and found our cabin. We quickly located the nearest alcohol supply, where it took almost an hour to get a drink, went to bed early, and figured the worst was in our wake.
Things kept going downhill. I woke to WiFi that didn’t work and a swollen foot I couldn’t walk on. I don’t like crowds and lines, and Robin knew I was miserable, so I told her I had one goal which was to keep my attitude from affecting her trip. I promised to suck it up, smile, and enjoy the remainder of the “Cruise from hell” no matter what else this floating prison threw my way.
The first stop was Coco Cay in the Bahamas which is Royal Caribbean’s island they turned into an impressive water park. Some activities there were expensive but it was free to hang out at the pool and have lunch. My bad-luck cloud was still over me… Sunblock burned my eyes so bad I couldn’t open them. Within a couple hours I was able to crack my left eye open enough to see so we made our way back to the ship.
Next stop / San Juan, where we got conned by a bus driver who said he was going to a fort that was a National Park where Robin could get a stamp for her collection, but we didn’t go there. We got dropped off in a shopping district with street vendors selling junk from China. We saw a lot of heavily armed police and others that looked like private cops, so back to the ship.
At this point I could only laugh. A course was plotted to St. Maartin where who-knows-what awaited what I could only describe as a Jimmy Buffett song unfolding. I was talking with a cook on the ship about my trip, he leaked it, and a call came in inviting us to a free dinner at the ship’s premier restaurant. After eating a memorable and complimentary $300 dinner, the clouds lifted and it was possible there was a light at the end of the tunnel.
Up to this point that light was a train coming at me, but something magical evolved and eventually it was like a trip to Fantasy Island where Tattoo fixed everything.
The ship docked in St. Maarten where we took a narrated bus trip to the “Flying Dutchman” which is a ski-lift to 1000-feet elevation, and a 60-mph zip-line down. That’ll take the wind out of you…. St. Maarten is a split island with Dutch on one side and French on the other. They share open borders in a way America could take a lesson from where everyone has to contribute, and everyone travels legally. Most follow the rules, and everyone gets along well.
The Dutch have an outdoor holding area for drunks and minor overnight offenses, while the French transfer detainees to high-security facilities in Guadeloupe or Martinique, which I’m told is a bit uncomfortable. The Dutch have casinos while the French have nude beaches. So the Dutch get your money, and the French get your clothes. Robin & I both returned to the ship after zipping down a mountain at 60mph, with all of our money …. and fully dressed.
Back on the ship found the plunge pools, met 4 different people from SW Florida, figured out the WiFi, and lines were short once you learn the system. The staff was outstanding and the rest of the cruise was quite a pleasure. The food was awesome, they had 24-hour coffee for those of us who can’t sleep past 4am, and by day-six I was sitting at Aaliyah’s desk, the ship’s travel planner, talking about my next cruise.
October 27’ we’re doing what they call the “A-B-C” which is Aruba, Bonaire and Curacao. Those stops put you about 25 miles from Venezuela’s coast where the water is as clear as any swimming pool. Then we saw a February 27’ cruise that sails out of Lauderdale to Grand Cayman, Cozumel, and Costa Maya where you can explore the Aztec architecture, so we booked that one too. Celebrity “Beyond,” the same ship we just came off of for both trips, and we even got the same stateroom. That covers the Caribbean all the way down to Aruba, over to Mexico, and back to Lauderdale. My foot should be healed enough to walk by then...
I’d schedule more but our travel-time is held hostage by our house-sitter’s schedule, and he’s booked through the end of 2027.
We booked the first cruise through a consultant from a travel service called “Cruise Planners” but they weren’t much help, so moving forward we’re dealing directly with the cruise line. They make it very easy to book with only a $100 deposit, and if a discount, sale or promotion unfolds between now & then, or if a price drops, it applies to your account.
I’ve got a trip to Key West planned this October where I’m riding my bike from Key Largo to Key West. After that, my trips may only be cruises. Especially since I discovered the Celebrity fleet, which is an upscale part of Royal Caribbean. Our ship is the “Beyond.” It has classy accommodations, it’s a lot less of a “party” boat, there’s lots to do without the wave pools or water-slides, while maintaining the fun-feel. 3,200 passengers, 1,400 staff, and 32 restaurants.
Come join us!
Jim Griffiths
Publisher, Nautical Mile
