Dr. Sabrina Anderson
On the New York Times’ best-selling book list for five weeks author Stephanie Land offers her memoir. A story that is gripping in its painful detail.
Her writing will make a reader stop and think about poverty, domestic violence, government assistance, perceived attitudes, and cultural inequities.
Land has presented her memoir in a three-part book beginning with how she came to be in such dire, poverty-stricken circumstances. She becomes an unwed mother, obtains work as a housekeeper/cleaner and ends up needing government assistance to survive. Part two reveals stand-out experiences in her journey, from properties she cleaned to persons she encountered.
Had the reader not known this was a true story, one might believe it was a splendid work of fiction. The final part of this book unveils the light at the end of the tunnel, something you hope for all along, and try not jumping to the last page to find out. It is important to understand the painful road Ms. Land travelled and realize the truth that she presents.
Social issues are presented in this current and timely book. Domestic abuse, both emotional, and verbal, lack of familial support, and a culture of judgmental people create painful isolation.
Economic issues are vast occurring around the 2008 American recession. “Without office skills or a college degree, and in the height of a recession-era job market, cleaning houses rose to the surface as the only job I could do.”
Stephanie finds herself with an unplanned pregnancy with a boyfriend uninterested in parenting as he suggests an abortion. She keeps their baby only to endure escalating hatred from the father. Verbal, and emotional abuse becomes worse until he finally punches through a door.
A police report is filed, and the courts can see that abuse has occurred. Yet, the courts made him out to be a better parent because he had a job and a (trailer) house. She moves out to the domestic violence shelter and begins her struggle with the system. The struggle for housing, food stamps, childcare grants and gas vouchers is real.
Her elderly grandparents are unable to help financially, her father, and her mother are both selfish with their new online-introduced spouses.
Dad has a new family and is just getting by on an electrician’s pay, he allows her to stay with them for only a few weeks, ultimately believing that Stephanie was not being abused by the boyfriend and tells her to move out.
Mother has moved to Europe, is selfishly absorbed in her younger husband, and puts him first in all matters. Friends are not supportive in any tangible ways.
Stephanie recognizes that she was reckless with her own heart, becoming pregnant, but will be more careful in the future now that she has her daughter, Mia.
Stephanie is on her own with a new baby girl to raise. The domestic violence shelter gets her started on an independent path away from the boyfriend and directs her to the government assistance she will need to pursue- economic assistance in the forms of the Pell Grant, Tenant-Based Rental Assistance (TBRA), Low-Income Home Energy Assistance Program (LIHEAP), Women, Infants & Children (WIC), Medicaid, childcare grants, and Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP).
Obtaining the childcare grants and other government assistance requires the applicant to be employed, or attempting employment, and proof of all income.
What work could she do and still be a part of Mia’s daily routine? She applies for many jobs, but it is a recession. Part-time housecleaning with poor wages becomes the opportunity she must jump on.
Certainly, a situational theory element is where she has found herself. “Situational or sociological approaches to career development accentuate the reality that one’s environments both provide the kinds of choices-educational, occupational, lifestyle-from which an individual chooses…”
Cleaning toilets is not her dream career, yet she must endure this job for a time in her life. A job versus a career is articulated as she uses the Pell Grant, and then financial aid to steadily forge toward the Bachelor’s degree and writing career she dreams of.
It is interesting to note that she had not always lived in poverty and therefore was able to have hope for a better future. It is what sustained her through the arduous work, hunger, and loneliness of her existence.
Loneliness exacerbated even during the day as she cleaned. “This was my unwitnessed existence, as I polished another’s to make theirs appear perfect.” She reveals housecleaning situations where the homeowners ignore her, do not speak to her, and do not even learn her name.
In these homes she sees the private details of their existence. Details showing sadness, pretend perfection, and excessive consumerism. The homeowner’s successful social pretense is not built on solid ground.
She sees their secrets, from the smoker who hides her habit and eats like a rabbit to the married couple that sleep separately and exhibit intimate behaviors not conducive to a loving marriage. Stephanie learns that wealth is not the answer to a happy life.
There are homeowner’s that show genuine kindness. While she cleans for them, what sears into her soul is the way she is treated. People matter and it matters how you engage with them. You never know what their path may be. Recipients of government assistance are often subject to discriminating attitudes. Discrimination is real and isolating.
Social stigma applied to recipients of government assistance is worsened by the individual that choose to live out their lives on its cart. Not everyone can envision a life that has hope. They have resided in poverty for too long, for too many generations.
It is my hope that someone who walks this difficult path, will see the possibility of a different existence and be brave enough to pursue it. Displaying empathy for those in poverty, pointing them in the right direction, and connecting people with resources are tasks we all should endeavor to fulfill.
Dr. Sabrina Anderson lives on
Pine Island in Southwest Florida.
DrSabrinaAnderson@outlook. com
